If you find my stress and misery to be entertaining, this post is most certainly for you. Keep reading for a laugh or just because you have nothing better to do. Either way works for me!
This past weekend, I flew to Tampa to visit my college friend, Brittany. I helped celebrate her 23rd birthday by buying her drinks and invading her new adult apartment. My flight out of the Trenton/Mercer airport was short and easy. It’s a small, one-flight-at-a-time type of airport, so you get to walk up and onto the plane. FUN!
My extended weekend in Tampa was filled with good times, but also with people from college that I didn’t necessarily care to see. Either way, we all have to face that on the reg and I was prepared for the awkward challenge. Aside from drinking our livers into shock at MacDinton’s Happy Hour; we also went to the beach, saw a scary movie at Studio Movie Grill, tanned at the pool and visited my all time favorite, Tijuana Flats. Although it felt weird to jump right back into my college life after being gone for 5 months, it was a great weekend!
On Monday morning after all the fun had commenced, Brittany dropped me off at Tampa International Airport for my trek back to the wonderful: Trenton, NJ. I was way early because she had to drop me off on her way to work. So I arrived at the airport at 7:00 am, but my flight wasn’t until 9:00 am. From my previous experiences at the Tampa airport, I knew that I had some time before boarding because they move you pretty dang fast through security. So, I hung outside the terminal at a Starbucks so that I could get some work done.
I eventually got so consumed in what I was doing, that I hardly realized it was almost time to board. But I didn’t freak, I went right onto the terminal train and through security quickly, getting to my gate just in time. I was so perfectly timed, in fact, that I just hopped right into the boarding line. I looked down at my ticket: Frontier, Gate 45, Seat 15A. When I got to the front of the line, the flight attendant scanned my ticket, and I found my seat on the plane.
Smooth, Fast, Easy! I was ready to fly back to Trenton.
I hadn’t been in my seat for more than 15 min when a woman approached and claimed that I was in her seat. I told her that this was the seat on my ticket as well. A flight attendant approached and looked at both of our tickets. He said, “Wait, you’re going to Trenton? This plane is going to Cleveland, Ohio.”
MY HEART STOPPED.
Panicked, I replied: “ What! They let me on the plane and the sign up front says ‘Trenton’!” The flight attendant told me that they had announced this change in the gate area earlier. I explained that I had arrived to the gate late so I had no idea.
What the hell! How could you do this to me, Frontier? I ran off the plane in a panicked state, thinking that I had missed my plane and that I was otherwise fucked.
When I got back into the terminal, a woman over the loudspeaker repeated in a monotone voice, “Courtney Holliday, please report to gate blah blah blah.” I ran over to that stupid gate.
The new flight attendant scanned my ticket and let me on what BETTER BE THE RIGHT FLIGHT. I jogged down the weird airport snake that takes you to the plane and entered an airbus full of people that were waiting for me.
UGH! Frontier, I always knew you sucked. But, you really blew it this time. I’d like to blame this on my ignorance, but COME ON! They scanned my ticket and let me on the wrong plane. If someone didn’t have that seat, I would be in Cleveland, Ohio right now. NOT COOL.
Surprisingly, the rest of my flight was wonderful. I usually get motion sick without Dramamine, but I didn’t this time. So I was able to enjoy the Netflix shows on my phone. Plus, I didn’t have anyone sitting next to me. AMAZING.
Things were looking up, but not for long. By the end of the flight, I REALLY had to pee. I had a huge bottle of water at Starbucks and a cup of water on the plane. And because of all the commotion earlier, I had not been able to use the restroom. But, I knew that we were landing soon so I thought it would be best for me to just wait until we landed.
WRONG!
I wasn’t aware that there was a huge storm in the area, so we would not be landing any time soon. We tried to approach 5 different times which resulted in horrible turbulence. Eventually, we had to retreat and circle the area until the storm calmed down. At this point, I had horrible motion sickness from the bumps and drops AND I had 15 pound water baby kicking at my gut.
OH GOD. Not to be dramatic, but this was the WORST I ever had to pee in my entire life. And that’s saying a lot.
Almost an hour later, we land. FINALLY. The stupid, idiot people on the plane with me took an eternity to get themselves and their shit off the plane. That super cool thing I said before about walking up and onto the plane was now super awful because it was pouring rain and these retired folks took their sweet time walking down the slick ramp.
RAWR!!!
I finally got into the baggage claim area thinking I would find sweet relief, but instead I found a line so long you’d think the women’s room was a theme park ride. I waited and waited and waited. Then I peed. And oh did I pee. It was magical. Yes, magical.
So yes, that morning sucked. But, I did get to spend the rest of the day binge watching ‘American Vandal’ with Ray, so there was a happy ending.
I hope this made you laugh!
P.S. (Remember to appreciate your timely peeing conveniences!)
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